Wedding and Marriage

In preparing for marriage, young people devote their time, energy and resources to wedding but pay little attention to marriage. Somebody can have a flamboyant wedding but end up with an unhappy or broken marriage. To avoid the mistakes people made in the past, you must know the difference between marriage and wedding.

Wedding is a ceremony which can be colorful, exciting and flamboyant but marriage is the act of the fusion on a union of two members of the opposite sex in order to become husband and wife. Wedding will declare and pronounce you as husband and wife but you become husband and wife by marriage.

Wedding is a special event, but marriage is a process. Marriage starts from the point of searching, finding, proposing, engaging, and courting, down to when the marriage is consummated. Wedding is one of the special events in marriage.

Wedding is a one-day affair, but marriage is "until death do us part". Sometimes, wedding is a four-hour affair which people invest so much on, but marriage which is for life is not given required attention, preparation and quality investment.

Wedding is a public event, that is why it is usually attended by people from all works of life, but marriage is a private affair. After wedding, witnesses, supporters, sponsors, ministers of God, bridal train withdraw to their homes, and marriage between the bride and groom begins privately in their newly found home.

The success of one's wedding does not guarantee the success of the marriage. Wedding is adjudged successful if the couple is able to have a beautifully dressed bridal train, the bride wear good and flamboyant gown and the groom a well sewn suit, both drive in expensive borrowed cars, provide costly wines and give delicious food at the reception. But successful marriage is measured by how skillful you are in managing marital relationship, keeping your home in peace, putting your children under control, training them in the ways of the lord, and so on.

*Written by someone in ESL Forum"

What's Growing in Your Garden? (1st Part)

What's Growing in Your Garden? (Part One)
by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
Crosswalk: Moments Together for Couples

And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, 7 maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.(Exodus: 34:6-7- NIV)

Dag Hammerskjold, former Secretary-General of the United Nations, once said, "You cannot play with the animal in you without becoming wholly animal; play with falsehood without forfeiting your right to truth; play with cruelty without losing your sensitivity of mind. He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn't reserve a plot for weeds."

Did you know that what you grow and cultivate in your garden today could spread to your offspring? Did you know that a sin you now tolerate could still be tormenting your great-grandchildren in the year 2140? That's four generations from now.

Consider the warning of Scripture at the top of this page. What does it mean? Why would God set up a system that visits one generation's sins on three or four other generations?

I have a hunch that God is trying to tell us that the way we live impacts others and is of supreme importance to Him. Possibly He's using a warning of future judgment on our descendants to keep us on the straight and narrow today.

Whether you like it or not, your children are becoming just like you. Their little eyes are watching to see how you relate to your mate, how you pray, how you walk with Christ on a daily basis. They hear your words and subconsciously mimic your attitudes, actions and even your mannerisms.

And as time goes by you'll find that they've "inherited" some of the same tendencies towards sin that you learned from your own parents. That's why so many children from broken homes, for example, grow up and fail in their own marriages.

Your kids will grow up to be like you. Is that a sobering thought, or an encouraging one?


Is there a sin that you've tolerated in your life that you need to go to God in prayer right now and confess? As you repent, you may want to ask God for grace to protect your children from that sin in the future.

In what ways do you want your children to be like you? In what ways do you not want them to be like you?

Serving in Love

Honoring Your Husband...

"The more skilled a wife becomes in meeting her husband's legitimate needs, the more indispensable she is to him. Her act of serving in love builds her own security in the marriage."

What's Growing in Your Garden?

What's Growing in Your Garden? (Part Two)

Deuteronomy 5:10
But showing loving kindness to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.

by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

"I'll be honest with you: The thought of my kids sinning in the same areas that I sin has bolstered my obedience to God. I'm reminded of the piercing statement by C. H. Spurgeon, "Sin would have fewer takers if its consequences occurred immediately."

Just think for a moment of the sins that could be visited upon your children. What do you struggle with? Lust? Selfishness? Anger? Lack of discipline? Jealousy? Pride? How about deceit? Broken promises? A gossiping tongue?

The twenty-first century could be a scary time to be alive. I wonder how the sins of adultery, divorce and addictions will affect future generations?

So what are we to do? Wallow in guilt because we are far from perfect? Are we enslaved to our ancestors' wrong choices and, thus, permanently under the punishment of God?

No, we can stop the chain reaction by our repentance and confession. God in His grace stands ready to forgive us and grant us favor. You can, by faith, stop even the most tyrannical control of a sin that has beset your family for generations.

The good news is that God also gives us a wonderful promise: Your righteousness can still be influencing others a thousand generations from now. That's encouraging!

One of our FamilyLife staff members is committed to breaking the chains from his past. When speaking to individuals considering vocational Christian ministry, he always says, "I grew up in a broken home and I don't want to end up like my father. He lived his life for himself, and at his funeral there were only 10 people in attendance. I want a packed funeral-full of people my life has impacted. I want to leave a heritage that would outlast me."

Ask God to protect your life, marriage and family from sin. Ask Him to enable you to leave a legacy of righteousness to a thousand generations.

Discuss: What type of faith would you like your children and grandchildren to have?

Source: Crosswalk: Moments Together for Couples

Faith and Love

Finding Treasures in Trials...

"Every problem--great or small--has in it a treasure waiting to be discovered. The secret to successful treasure hunting is understanding two life-changing words: faith and love."

What treasure did I find today?

_the treasure of knowing my husband even better/ deeply.
keeping in mind that as human we do have sinful nature, and that comes out when least expected. as husband and wife, we ought to help each other and have faith in God always.

to take our full meal of prayers each day (",)

How about you? what treasure did you find today?

Purity of Character

Keeping Alive Romance and Security...

"If you want to raise the passion level in your marriage, increase the purity of your character."

Loving Actions for a Quiet Thursday

Honoring God...

"Probably the most important thing that negative emotions reveal is our own self-centeredness. We need to admit our level of self-centeredness, because out of such an admission comes the freedom to refocus our expectations away from God's creation and onto God Himself."